Starfish

"Out of sight; out of mind."  We have all heard that expression before, commonly as an excuse for forgetting - or wanting to forget - something.  In this next story, we'll see just how far our main character can stretch the meaning of this colloquial catchphrase...

People called her "Starfish".  When she was 3 years old she found a starfish on the beach.  No one knows if the starfish was alive when she found it.  All we know is that she managed to transfer that starfish from the beach, to the underside of her bed pillow without anyone noticing - that is until someone changed the sheets one week later.  When Aileen picked up that pillow and saw the 5 pointed sea creature laying there, she just about had a heart attack.  Her scream had everyone running in her direction wondering what was wrong.

Mamma saw the starfish and realized that her 3 year old daughter, Natalie, must have brought it home from their beach trip the previous week.  At this point, the starfish was deceased, and smelled like it had 4 of it's 5 appendages in the grave.  Mamma went to dispose of "the creature" - as she called it - saying "out of sight, out of mind!" as if Natalie wouldn't miss what was not there.  But Aileen knew differently.  She knew how upset Natalie would be if she saw that her starfish was missing; and despite her initial aversive reaction, Aileen fished it out of the trash when Mamma wasn't looking.  She soaked it in a solution of diluted clorox, then dried it, and placed it underneath the pillow and fresh sheets that she had made Natalie's bed with earlier that morning.

Aileen was the domestic engineer for the Ulrich family.  She was employed by the Ulrich's shortly before Natalie was born.  Mamma Ulrich was an executive for a chain of department stores, and Daddy Ulrich a traveling salesman.  Aileen had been Natalie's primary caretaker for most of Natalie's almost-4 years.  And Natalie knew it.  Natalie had an amazing memory.  In fact, she never forgot anything or anyone, simple as that.

Back to the starfish:  Natalie found the starfish under her pillow that night, and immediately noticed a change.  She noticed that the sand had been cleaned off.  She noticed that the stains of green and brown were faded.  She noticed that the underside of her pillow didn't smell like a swamp anymore.  And she knew that Aileen had found her starfish and kept it a secret for her, causing Natalie to fall asleep with her hands cupping her starfish, and with a smile on her face.  That night Natalie dreamt that she was flying a kite, and the kite was pulled from her grip with a gust of strong wind.  She was upset as she watched her kite disappear into the clouds, and when she tugged at her Mamma to look at what happened, her mother looked up and said, "my what beautiful clouds!"  Natalie knew, even in her dream, not to ask her mother to notice the lost kite.

Natalie had heard her Mamma use the phrase, "out of sight, out of mind", many times.  The first time she heard her Mamma use it was when Natalie accidentally dropped her cookie onto the sidewalk while being pushed in a stroller.  Natalie remembers her Mamma's reaction to her plea for the cookie like it was yesterday:  Mamma turned around to face Natalie, then looked up at Aileen and shrugged, "out of sight, out of mind".  When Natalie was 2 years old, she heard her Mamma use the phrase in respect to the family dog.  Natalie never saw that dog again.  She heard Mamma refer to Daddy in the same way, but he always returned, which for a while was confusing for Natalie, considering everything else up until this point that was "out of sight, out of mind" was never to be seen again.

Once when she was 3 years old, Natalie was to be picked up from pre-school by her Mamma, as Aileen was on vacation.  Mamma never showed up.  Natalie remembers being driven home by the police, and the forced exasperation on her Mamma's face when she answered the front door and saw a police officer holding Natalie's hand.  "Oh my, officer!  I completely forgot!  Normally my help, Aileen, picks her up!  You know what they say - 'out of sight, out of mind' - I apologize for any inconvenience!  Thank you so much for driving her home!"  The police officer nodded politely, and handed Natalie over to her Mamma, but not before squeezing her hand in just the right way to tell her that he understood.

And so it went for Natalie's entire childhood, and most of her adulthood too - not being truly seen by her Mamma, and forming surrogate relationships with other significant adults in her life:  Aileen, teachers, the clerk at the corner store who she bought candy and novelties from, music teachers, and professors.  Some might see it as a miracle that Natalie grew up to be quite the opposite of her Mamma.  She saw everything, and remembered everything that she ever saw.  Natalie didn't see this as a miracle, but simply as ironic, and eventually as a gift.  She used her talent to work as an intuitive healer.  She travelled the globe, seeking mentorship with some of the greatest healers, until her name too was respected as one of the greats.

When Natalie was 32 years old, Aileen died.  With this great loss, Natalie could find no other reason to stay root in her hometown, and so she moved to Phuket, Thailand, one of the most beautiful places on earth.  She was known there as "Starfish", because she collected starfish that had washed up on the beaches of Phuket, and after washing and drying them, handed them out freely to lucky girls and boys who crossed her path.  Although, after moving, she never saw her Mamma or Daddy again, she certainly never forgot them, nor the lessons she had learned from them growing up.

Your fire safety tip pertains to ATTIC FIRES:

Attics are one of the spaces in our homes that we don't pay much attention to.  "Out of sight, out of mind", as they say - right?!  Most attic fires are caused by:  improper insulation or sheathing of the chimney in the attic space; defective wiring; lightning strikes; and fire originating from floors below that makes it's way up through vertical spaces in the walls.  Although most of these fires are preventable, some of them are not.

Most attic fires are not noticed until the flames are coming through the roof, because smoke detectors are generally not put in attic spaces (due to having operating temperatures in the 32-110 deg F zone).  However, there are some amazing devices called HEAT DETECTORS that work great for spaces such as attics, as well as garages, sheds, and utility areas where smoke detectors are not appropriate.  Heat detectors work by sensing either an extraordinarily fast rise in heat, or a specific temperature meant to trip the alarm once it's reached (i.e 200 deg F).  You can find these at your local hardware stores.

Thanks for reading - and thanks for taking the time to be safe!

Resolutions

My father is a recovering alcoholic.  He just finished a treatment program, and is a completely different person today than I knew him to be 2 months ago.  (Congratulations, Dad!)  Staying true to the program, he attends meetings almost every day, sometimes sharing with me something he took from the meeting that really impressed on him.  One recent idea he shared has to do with the notion of being.  "I am a father, I am a brother, I am a grandfather, I am a friend; but when I'm not drinking, I can be a father, I can be a brother, I can be a grandfather, I can be a friend."
We all are somebody to someone; we wear different hats, we have various titles, we play one or more roles.  Is there a difference between saying "I am", versus saying "I can be"?  In my view, the difference is massive.  It is the difference between a two-dimensional word, and a three-dimensional form - such as the difference between a playbill, and the actual play.  It is being accountable, and putting action and meaning into who you say you are.  It is being remembered not for your name, but for the impression you left.
My New Year's resolution for 2012 is to take inventory of who I say I am, and assess whether or not the titles I give myself exist in two-dimensional or three-dimensional form.  If I find any that are 2D, I will either eschew them, or commit to making them more substantive.

Today's fire safety tip:  Ask yourself, are you fire-safe?  Regardless of your answer, BE safe!!!
There have been several fires in the last week that have made local and national headlines: the fire in Stamford, CT, that killed 5;  a fire in Pennsylvania where a 48yo man died after he got his elderly parents outside to safety, then went back into the burning house to retrieve something;  a fire in Eden Prairie, MN, that gutted the house and claimed the life of the family pet.
This is the time of year when we see the most fires - most of which are preventable!  New Year's Eve celebrations particularly increase the risk of cooking and cigarette related fires.  To see a video on how fast these fires start, and some of their causes, click here. 
Here is a safety checklist for you.  Have a safe and happy New Year!

• If you're drinking, please do not be in charge of the stove or oven.  
• Make sure your cigarette is completely extinguished with water before you throw it away.  Alcohol (because it's a depressant) increases the likelihood of falling asleep with something on the stove, or falling asleep with a lit cigarette, both of which cause fatal fires.
• Have a working Carbon Monoxide detector within 10 feet of every sleeping area.
• Have working Smoke Detectors on every level of your home, and inside each bedroom.
• Do not leave candles unattended - blow them out before you leave the room, before you leave the house, and before you go to sleep.
• Make sure your furnace is in good working condition, and change the filters monthly.
• If you use a wood burning fireplace, or wood stove, make sure you open the damper before lighting the fire, always have a screen in front of the fire, and always extinguish the fire before you leave the house or go to sleep.
• If you do have a house fire, get outside to safety, call 911, and never go back inside -- let the firefighters retrieve your belongings!

Observance

Winter holidays never grow obsolete,

time upon time reappearing, obstinate,
a guest predictable yet obscure.

Tables laden with food quantity obscene;

lights and candles lit in observance,
glowing against night sky obsidian.

Decorated fingers in diamond and obsidian

welcome company in manners obsolete,

with obsequious observance

of mothers toting children obstinate,

mumbling protests obscene

as they enter a place unfamiliar, obscure.

Notions of Santa Claus, mysterious and obscure;

ethereal reindeer, noses ruby and obsidian.

To some these beliefs seem obscene,

yet their prospect admittedly not obsolete.

Even waverers grow less obstinate

during this season of giving and observance.

Traditions of observance

weathered smooth yet synchronously obscure,

vexing those who have grown obstinate

in their beliefs, rigid and obsidian;

their convictions antiquated, obsolete,

to some rendered obscene.

Time is the archive for that marked obscene.

Opinions once rigid yield to the season's observance,

welcoming hope and promise not obsolete,

no longer obscure,

melting rigid sheaths once hauntingly obsidian

dividing those on all sides, obstinate.

Night falls, draping all those rigid and obstinate,

muting mutterings obscene,

cloaking us with comfort, tranquil and obsidian

patient for morning's observance

and anticipation of gifts obscure.

Dreams wax and wane 'till night fades obsolete.

Hold this obsidian, obstinate heart -

once holding the mysteries of this season obsolete and obscene -

under the luminous observance so beautifully obscure.

Today's safety tip:  during your holiday observance(s), be moderate and know your limits.  Alcohol related fires escalate this time of year.  Historically, there are more fires on New Year's Eve than any other day of the year, because of bad choices made by people with alcohol-related altered mental status.  You know not to drink and drive.  Likewise, do not drink and drive cook!  Have a safe and relaxing holiday!

Homeless

Snow fell yesterday, covering any remaining signs of autumn.  The first snowfalls of winter are exciting here in Minnesota.  Sleds come out of storage.  Dogs frolic and roll in snow's coolness.  Holiday lights sparkle more impressively against the white landscape.  Our homes transform from a cool respite from the summer heat, to the warm refuge from winter's bite.  At least for those of us who have a place to call home.      


To be homeless in Minnesota during the winter is excruciatingly difficult, and dangerous.  Homeless animals have a better chance at finding refuge in a shelter than a homeless person.  Don't get me wrong - we have an amazing network of resources and shelters for the homeless here in Minnesota, but when the cold moves in, more seek shelter under a roof rather than under a bridge, and the shelters fill up fast.  For those who have no home of their own, it is survival of the fittest.  If the shelters are full, then what are the options?  Maybe find a garage that's unlocked to hunker down in.  Maybe find a vacant home or building to call home and hope no one calls the police.  Last week, a homeless man lit a bonfire on the floor inside a  vacant house to stay warm.  He died of carbon monoxide poisoning before the fire grew out of control and the house burned down.  As I pondered what to write about this time, it struck me how many holiday stories there are where the main character(s) is(are) homeless.  Mary and Joseph.  Rudolph and Hermey.  The Little Match Girl.  Even Harry Potter didn't have a home to go to during his first Christmas break at Hogwarts.


So let's switch gears for a minute, and talk about Black Friday.  The term "Black Friday" comes from the Sept. 24, 1869, Wall Street collapse, which produced frenzy and panic.  It's commonly known here, in modern day U.S., as the Friday after Thanksgiving, when retailers open their doors extraordinarily early - sometimes at midnight - with incredible deals for early shoppers.  The quest to get the best shopping bargains on this day creates frenzy and panic (the common denominator of the Black Friday of 1869).  Consider the story of Black Friday in 2008, when a crowd of 2,000 shoppers in Valley Stream, NY, swarmed outside the doors of Walmart for the 5 a.m. opening.  As opening time approached the crowd grew frenzied.  When the doors opened the crowd pushed forward, trampling a 34 year old employee to death. The shoppers did not appear concerned with the victim's fate, expressing refusal to halt their stampede when other employees attempted to intervene and help the injured employee, complaining that they had been waiting in the cold and were not willing to wait any longer.  Even when police arrived and attempted to render aid to the injured man, shoppers continued to pour in, shoving and pushing the officers as they made their way into the store.  This is not an isolated incident!  (for more stories on brutal black friday injures and deaths, click here)


Gearing back to the topic of homelessness:  The snow is falling, creating a magical crystalline backdrop for the holidays.  Families are gathering to celebrate Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, and other traditions and holidays, most of which are centered around giving.  Yet lots of people have no place to call home, and are sleeping on the streets, on the coldest nights of the year - including Christmas - and what gets us the most worked up, the most frenzied, is 50% off at Walmart?  Think about it.


Your safety tip for the day is on Carbon Monoxide Safety:
Carbon Monoxide (CO) is a colorless, tasteless, odorless gas.  It exists in very small quantities in ambient air (the air we breathe).  But, in excess, can kill you.  MN Law requires every home to have a CO detector within 10 feet of every bedroom/sleeping area.  
The most common sources of CO poisoning are your gas burning appliances that are burning inefficiently, not being vented properly, or have some other malfunction.  Gas stoves, furnaces, hot water heaters, and clothes dryers, if not working properly, can all be potential CO hazards.  Wood burning stoves and fireplaces, if not vented properly, can also cause CO poisoning.  Here is a safety checklist for you:

• Have your gas burning appliances cleaned and checked by a professional every year
• Have your chimney cleaned and checked by a professional each year - especially if you use it often
• Make sure the flue is open on your fireplace or wood stove when you use it
• Have CO detectors within 10 feet of every bedroom and sleeping area (it's MN Law)
• Ideally, have CO detectors on every level of your home, especially on levels that you have gas burning appliances and fireplaces
• Test your CO detectors monthly, change the batteries every 6 months, and replace the detectors every 5 years or sooner if need
• Know the symptoms of CO poisoning:  headache, nausea, lightheadedness, vomiting, without a fever.  If you have these symptoms, get to fresh air immediately and call 911!

Click here for more information about Carbon Monoxide in your home.

Have a safe holiday, and consider donating to or volunteering at a homeless shelter.

Happy Thanksgiving

Dear Readers,
First, THANK YOU for reading my blog :)  I'm not one that looks forward to "the holidays", but I will take this moment, in honor of Thanksgiving, to say that I am thankful for my son, my friends, my job, my house, and the freedom that we all enjoy in this country.
Please be safe this weekend!  On the average, kitchen fires account for 42% of home fires - BUT, on Thanksgiving Day, that number rises to 70%.  These are PREVENTABLE fires, by just being more careful.  Just a few reminders to keep you safe these next few days:

• Keep your cooking space clean and clutter free.
• If you're using the stovetop, BE IN THE KITCHEN.  If you need to leave, even for a minute, turn the stove off until you come back.
• If you're using the oven, BE IN THE HOUSE, and BE AWAKE.  If you need to leave the house, or take a nap, turn the oven off until you get back (and set a really LOUD alarm clock).
• Have working smoke detectors.  The photoelectric kind are best to have near the kitchen, and are less likely to cause nuisance alarms.
• Keep kids and pets away from the stove - and better yet, out of the kitchen.
• Have a fire extinguisher handy, and know how to use it.

Have a great weekend!  -Casidy

The Vaxens

Anyone who has ever doubted that fire breathing dragons can and do exist, is .... wrong.  Do we question the existence of bioluminescent creatures such as fireflies and glow worms?  Do we question that the voltage coming from electric eels is actual electricity?  So, why not fire breathing dragons?

Here is a tale, written by a modern blogger (me), about a dragon family named The Vaxen's:

In a land closer than you would imagine, at a time not so long ago, lived a little girl dragon named Para Fin Vaxen.  Para was one of 4 siblings.  She had two older sisters, twins, named Candelle and Be'es; and a younger brother named Carnauba.  Para Fin, Candelle, Be'es, and Carnauba Vaxen were ordinary dragons in every way.  Well, ordinary in every way except for one:  their parents were fire breathers.

Having fire breathing parents comes with it's perks:  their fireplace never went cold; wet socks were dried in seconds; treacherous icy hills were cleared without effort; and they were even invited to light the Olympic Torch one year.  In general, the good that came from having fire-breathing parents outweighed the stigma of being "different".

Unlike her sisters and brother, Para Fin longed to be a fire-breather.  Her parents were keen to her wish, and tried as best they could to squelch it, for fear that she would get hurt.  Para Fin practiced in the privacy of the backyard shed.  She kept a notebook under a floorboard, beneath a wheelbarrow, journaling all of her experiments.  For 3 years, Para Fin practiced and journaled.  And on the days that she couldn't practice, she would take her journal to her room, reading through old experiments, and conjuring up new ones.  She tried forcefully exhaling after drinking extremely hot tea, but that just gave her the hiccups.  She tried fitting as many chili peppers as her mouth would hold, but this just caused tears to roll from her eyes, extinguishing even the potential of fire.  She tried meditation, imagining herself to "be" the flame, which usually put her to sleep.  She tried all of this and so much more, with no success.

The Vaxen's celebrated Hanukkah, and Para Fin was so hoping that she could surprise her family and light the Menorah with fire breathing.  She had practiced for 3 years, and with 2 months to go before Hanukkah, she was determined to discover the art of fire breathing.  She toted her experiment journal along wherever she went.  She practiced in the shed every free moment she had.  The two months passed, and still Para Fin could not fire-breathe.  She was devastated having not attained her goal, but accepted her loss like only a true champion would.

Hanukkah that year looked to be the usual:  mom and dad lighting the Menorah; feasts with family and friends; dreidel competitions between the cousins.  On day 5 of the celebration, Candelle and Be'es woke early to help their mother in the kitchen.  After sleeping in, Para Fin took a seat text to the kitchen window, sipping hot cider while she watched her younger brother attempt to chop wood with their father.  Carnauba would swing the axe no more than 10 times, then drop it to tuck his hands into his armpits, trying to warm them.  Father would motion for Carnauba to hold out his hands, then blow flame around his woolen mittens, warming and drying them, followed by the two of them doing a high-5.  She watched no less than 10 cycles of this.

Lost in a daydream, Para Fin startled when Be'es shook her shoulder, impatiently asking, "Para!  Do you want a latke, or not?!".  "Oh, sure" she replied.  She retrieved applesauce and sour cream from the fridge, and set out plates for everyone.  No sooner had she set the table, when her father and brother came in from chopping wood, and they all sat down for breakfast.

The Menorah sat in the middle of the table, ready for 5 of the 9 candles to be lit.  Mom blew one of her mini-flames - the kind she used for delicate tasks such as lighting candles, or the pilot light on the stove.  Dad poured milk and coffee, and Carnauba tried to shove an entire latke in his mouth before the candles were lit, sending Candelle into a tizzy.  Para Fin took a sip of milk ... and at this very moment, her destiny was forever changed.  Realizing it was not milk, but some other "nasty" (her words, not mine) substance, Para Fin eschewed from her mouth whatever it was that she drank in a forceful spray of fine droplets.  These droplets aimed directly towards the flame of the first candle that her mother had lit, and spontaneously combusted into a fire ball, which in turn lit the next 4 candles.  Her family sat speechless at what just happened.  Carnauba's mouth fell open and a latke fell out, Candelle and Be'es looked at each other in shock, Father looked at Mother, and Mother looked at Para Fin, who's face was ablaze with surprise and satisfaction.
It turns out, that Para Fin had mistakenly drank a glass of off-drippings from the breakfast meat, and the spray of oily droplets spontaneously combusted upon hitting the flame of the first candle.

Your fire safety lesson today is on Grease Fires.  This is the time of year when people are cooking a lot more, and the incidents of kitchen fires rise.  Grease fires are a common form of kitchen fire, and here's how you extinguish them:
1. TURN OFF the heat (burner), if safe to do so
2. COVER the pan with a tight-fitting lid, if safe to do so
If you can do these first 2 steps, the fire should go out.  If the first 2 steps don't work, you can:
3. Use a FIRE EXTINGUISHER (which is basically baking soda under pressure, allowing you to smother the fire without getting too close like you'd have to do with a box of baking soda)
If none of the above works, CALL 911!

NEVER USE WATER to extinguish a grease fire.  Why not?  Because, grease floats on water.  When you add water to a grease fire, the water goes directly underneath the grease. The water then immediately explodes into hot steam, forcing the grease into the air in small droplets, which spontaneously combust when they hit the oxygen in the air outside of the pan.  The result: HUGE FIRE BALL, which will most likely burn you and/or anything in it's path.  Here is a video that shows, up close, the devastating effect of putting water on a grease fire:

http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/time-warp-grease-fire-super-close-up.html

Hot? or not??

Any American Idol fans out there?  I followed the show on and off while it aired.  And then came Adam Lambert.  I haven't watched Idol since Adam Lambert - not because he ruined it for me, but because is so good that I'm convinced no one will ever top him.  Then came X-Factor.  I admit, I watched a few of the auditions, and thought, "blah".  That is, until I fatefully heard Melanie Amaro sing while flannel chipping (our term here at home for channel flipping).  I am telling you right now:  Adam Lambert is HOT, but so is Melanie Amaro.  She is a Celine-Mariah-Beyonce-diva all wrapped up in one voice.  If you haven't heard her, just Google her name and watch/listen to a video of her online.  You will be blown away....


So, hot? or not??  We ask ourselves this question when critiquing music/talent shows.  The barista asks us this question when ordering coffee on a warm summer day.  Baby bear asked himself this question while tasting 3 bowls of porridge.  And I'm asking you this question in terms of what you know about fire.


Do you know how hot fire is?  It's about 1200 deg F.  Do you know how hot the glowing ashes of a cigarette are?  About 800 deg F.  Do you know how hot liquids need to be to cause a 3rd degree burn?  The answer is more ambiguous than the first two.  What we DO know, is that hot liquids - such as hot water, coffee, tea, oil/grease, and steam - can burn just like fire.  Hot liquid burns are the #1 cause of burns to children.  Curious kids pulling hot coffee or tea cups down onto themselves.  Active little ones underfoot while an adult cooks in the kitchen.  Toddlers left alone in the bathtub even for just a few seconds, and turning on the hot water.  These are just a few examples.


Agencies from OSHA to NTSI have tested water's ability to burn skin at specific temperatures, and for specific amounts of time of exposure.  There is no magic formula that proves that a liquid at "X" deg F, with a "Y" minute exposure time, will cause "Z" type of burn.  However, what we DO know, is that hot liquids over 120 deg F will more readily cause 2nd and 3rd deg burns compared to those under 120 deg F.  We also know that it only takes a second or two, for hot liquid (over 120 deg F) to cause 2nd and 3rd degree burns.  How vulnerable someone is to a hot liquid burn depends mostly on age -  those under 6 and over 60 being the most vulnerable.  Outside of that, it just depends on what burned you, how long it burned for, your current health, and how soon you received intervention.

So, your prevention tips for the day:  keep your hot water heater set at 120 deg F or cooler;  keep mugs of hot coffee and tea out of reach of curious kiddos;  when cooking, use the back burners first, and keep the pot/pan handles turned in, to prevent you or someone else from catching the handle and spilling the boiling contents on yourself;  make sure that toddlers and babies have constant supervision in the bathtub (use toddler proof faucet knob protectors if needed).  Last but not least, teach your kids early on that hot liquid can burn just like fire.  Know what's hot! and what's not!!